Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

Sorry for the delay, last night the server was down.

Let's Recap. I have started a study on the names of God. This week, the focus has been on IMMANUEL (God With Us). Part of this study is to incorporate the name and characteristic into prayer, specifically praising and thanking God for being with me/us, learning to identify where he is evident in my life, even when I don't want him there (deep down inside I do, but its easier to blame him then me).

In addiction and recovery, (really anyone's mind), God plays an important role. Step 2 of the 12 steps states "We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Step 3 states: "We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God..." Many people find these two steps difficult. Each name used to describe God portrays a characteristic he possesses according to our understanding of him (HEALER, FATHER, DADDY, FRIEND, SAVIOR, MASTER, VENGEFUL, ETC.) However, in our minds what often takes place is simple transference. God begins to take on the characteristics of authority figures from our past. If you had parents who were abusive while you were a child, either physically or sexually, authority figures who were never there, who didn't provide, who only dealt out punishment rather than love and compassion, then odds are God too begins to take this image in your mind. Do I truly want a God like that to be with me? First and foremost, it is time to separate lies from reality. If you read previous posts or especially the Bible, you will find that God loves us, is there for us, loves justice.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:9 - 12
Once we have realized this important piece of information on who God is, we can begin to surrender to his will and embrace the fact that He is with us. The Bible gives us specific examples of how he is with us, how he wants to be with us. When was the last time you looked in a mirror and reflected upon the reflection looking back?
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16
But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won your fight with these false prophets, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. 1 John 4:41
The spirit of God lives in us. We should (I should) reflect that. I know often times I don't. Often times I get bogged down with a distorted image looking back at me, accusations, guilt, shame, sin, pride. All those things that bring me down and cause me to turn from my God. Jesus tells us that we are the light, a city on a hill, the salt of the earth. Others should see Christ in us and know we are children of God.
When I was 17, I was able to spend 2 months in Namibia Africa. It was an incredible and difficult time of my life however, I remember meeting with a small family (my ministry group and I) and they were not having anything we were talking with them about. They didn't want to hear about God and the message of the Gospel. So we decided to take our leave and journeyed up a hill that was right behind their huts (literally). As we sat there, we prayed. We asked God to shine through us, apparently our words were doing nothing so we gave it over to God. At the end of our prayer time, we journeyed back down the hill. The same family asked us to join them for a small meal, a token of their appreciation for spending time with them. They offered us a few small pieces of Goat and some "sour milk" (not pleasant). We were humbled that they would give us some of what was already so little to eat. As we partook, the man of the house told us. "we see something in you, you all are good people, you come, you eat our food, you smile, we see good in you" God was shining his love through us. I do not know if this family came to know God, but I do know God revealed himself that day. Every day I try to pray this prayer, that God will reveal himself through me, through my smile, my attitude, my actions. He is with me and in me. Our physical reflection may not ever be perfect, but I pray that the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ will wash over those imperfections and that we can begin to allow HIS perfection to shine through us.

What is in a name?

Wow, it has been a minute since I have posted. I guess I got crazy busy or crazy and lazy. Any who, a lot has happened since my last post. For instance, I am no longer living in the DFW metroplex. I officially have moved out to the dusty west Texas plains and reside in the bustling metropolis of... that's right, LUBBOCK!!!!! I have an awesome new job working as a collegiate counselor at the Ranch at Dove Tree, a residential treatment center for substance abuse and chemical dependency. I love it! I am not so sure about Lubbock though lol. Time will tell. All I can say is that God has his hand in all this, not exactly sure how yet, but what can I do but trust?

Well with this change, I decided to start a new Bible study. It has always been a desire of mine to grow more intimate with God and I felt the best way to do this was to become intimate with the characteristics and qualities of who He is. I plan on doing this through a study of his many, many, many names. I found this study on www.crosswalk.com entitled "Praying the Names of God." I thought I would share my journey with you... (whoever you are). So here we go!

GOD/JESUS

ALIAS 1: IMMANUEL- God with us

Matthew 1:18-23
This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiance, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. "Joseph, son of David" the angel said, "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord's message through his prophet:
"Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and they will call him IMMANUEL, which means 'God is with us.'

There was a time when God walked with his creations, however this has not occurred since the Garden of Eden. This time ended when sin entered the world. Because of this sin, we are separated from our creator, deserving a fate far worse than death... eternal separation from God. Paul states in Romans that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" and because of this we deserve our fate. "for the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" This too me is overwhelming. Every time I screw up, every time I feel helpless or hopeless, tangled by my own evil desires and sinful nature, I can't help believe the lie that God doesn't love me and that I have f***** up one too many times for him to bring me back to restoration. But then I remember, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him, shall not parish but have everlasting life." Once again, our God came to walk among us, to be with us. How awesome is that! Even now, as Christ is with the Father, he gave us the Spirit to be with us, to guide us, to help us. Our creator loves us that he chose to be with us that we may be redeemed and restored. This is our Immanuel! I hope you will take time to reflect and remember that God is with you and will always be with you!

One Day at a Time

THE SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life; and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

So the past few weeks have been pretty crazy. What I have learned... I fight to much to have things my way. God is so much bigger than my narcissism, and pride. What it comes down to is obedience, all he has asked us to do is to follow him. Lay down our life, take up our cross and follow him. Almost 2 weeks ago, a patient suicided, it was pretty hard for me and my colleagues. This past week, work was pretty difficult, high volume of patients, and high stress of course. Wednesday, my house was broken into, things were taken. All the while, I have been struggling with just letting go and obeying God, accepting his grace and forgiveness, and being patient for his timing that things will be come easier/less hectic. Well for once, I decided I would do all 3 things.
As of today, I am officially 1 week sober. (I joined the wagon finally) And to qualify this statement, I am not an "alcoholic." but I have been known to occasionally binge and abuse the sauce, and the past few weeks were a huge test in terms of healthy coping skills for stress, and a couple of times, all I could think about was the easy fix, the bottom of a bottle. I am not that person nor do I aspire to be, so I prayed and I know for an indefinite period of time this is what God is asking of me.
I am letting go of all the rest and placing it in God's hands. Since then, believe it or not, I feel better, happier, less anxious... Content. It is funny how that works.

A Sling and a Stone

Why is it that when we have past encounters and successes with God, we so easily forget? It is as if every time we are faced with a new battle, we forget how God has previously delivered us and we assume he can't do it this time. Or maybe we know God has saved us once, but this time it is far beyond his capability.

1 Samuel 17:20-47 is the story of David and Goliath. Sorry but you have to read it for yourself, it is too much to type out. Anyway, I have read and heard this story so many times before, but recently God has shed some new light on this oldie but goodie and I wanted to share with you.

1. First thing to recognize is that David was being a good son and brother, his father sent him to take them food for the battle (verse 22). He goes to greet them.

2. David's oldest brother Eliab becomes angry with him (verse 28). It is important to realize that even in our struggles, we might not have the full understanding and support of those closest to us, they might be judgmental and even hateful.

3. The King & the Israelites can only see the half truth. They can't beat the Philistines. One man can not defeat this giant that stands before them. (the human condition has severe limitations) Israelites/Saul= weak & afraid. David= small boy through man's eyes they would all be destroyed because Goliath was a giant and the champion of the Philistines

4. David however sees the whole truth. All things are possible through God. He relies on past victories over a lion and a bear. He gives those victories and the glory to God. A lion and a bear have the strength to tear a man a part much less a small boy and yet God delivered him. He draws on these experiences for faith in the current situation. God did it once, he will do it again. (verses 34-37)

5. We can not achieve victory on mans wisdom and design. Saul tried to get on board with David and so he gave David his armor, however it was too big and David could not use it because he was not used to it. (verses 38-39)

6. The face off: Goliath: a giant with a sword, a spear, and a javelin. Weapons meant to kill and destroy those who would contest him. David: a shepherd boy, a sling, a stone, faith in God. He claimed his victory and gave the Glory to God and God gave him victory.

It is my prayer to have this kind of Faith. The limit of man is great; the limit of God does not exist.

Forks and Roads

I can't remember where I got this from but it is a very powerful prayer that I once prayed and God has been reminding me of it lately.

"Beloved whenever you are in doubt as to which way to turn, submit your judgment absolutely to the spirit of God, asking him "blessed spirit, I give to you the entire responsibility of closing every road and stopping every step that is not of God. Let me hear your voice behind me whenever I turn aside to the right or to the left."

I have been doing a ton of thinking, reflecting and seeking as God has prompted me in my heart. I am at a cross roads in life and what I keep coming back to is obedience. Christ was obedient to death on a cross, Abraham was obedient to the point he was willing to sacrifice his son. Noah was obedient enough to build an ark in a dry arid land for over 100 years. Paul obedient to death, Stephen... to death. Me????? Good question.

"SOBRIETY HURTS"

It seems lately I have been pondering many a philosophical idea. Over the past month I have been attending a bible study at the Coffee Haus in Arlington.
The topic tonight was on the body of Christ. We read from one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, Romans 12. The talk was about how we as a body of Christ should be united, how we should be humble and not "high and mighty." While I have read this passage many times before, I can honestly say I focus mostly on verses 1 & 2. Tonight however what stood out to me was

VERSE 3:
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Here is why.

Over the past few weeks things have been very hectic at work. I had to take matters in my own hands and make a change. Thankfully, the change was for the better. I have gone from working with adolescents to working with adults and chemical dependency.

About 2 weeks ago, I had a patient a few years younger than me. He was detoxing from hydro codeine and benzos. During one of my group therapy sessions, he told the group how he was sitting with his mom during visitation and he began crying. He said "Sobriety hurts" He couldn't remember the last time he felt any type of emotion with his mom, and mostly what he was feeling was guilt and shame. He was beginning to realize all the pain he had put his mother through with his drug use.

When I read the words sober judgment, I immediately remembered the words of my patient "sobriety hurts."
The basic definition of sober is to be of sound mind or sane thought. The reason most people use drugs is to numb, cloud, or forget emotions of pain, sadness, stress, anger, etc. When someone is under the influence, they possess a different view of the world. Has anyone heard of "beer goggles?" So to be sober and see things for the way they are, ourselves the way we truly are? That in it of itself is sobering.

I am not perfect, there I said it, now its your turn. We are bruised and broken, sinners, judgmental, and imperfect beings. Yet for the grace of God we are called to be sons and daughters, members of one body. How come we don't act that way? How come we put people on a pedestal and when they show their faults we are quick to string up a noose? It is my hope that I can be transparent with my brothers and sisters, able to be vulnerable, ministered to, and, that I can be able to minster to them as well.

So my question to you... When you look at yourself, where do you put yourself? Too high? Too low?

I BELIEVE....

I was in church today, and the pastor made an interesting challenge. He asked us to go home, sit down and think; then, write down the words I believe... It is a pretty philosophical question. Do you really know what you believe? As I sit and wonder, I think back and remember Sunday school classes, Vacation Bible Schools, and Summer Camps. The most common and often times correct answers to any question... God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or the Bible. So then it hit me. Do I just believe in some doctrine that I grew up hearing my entire life? Now I have pondered this question before, but I think, I always just dismissed it, or I never truly just formulated an answer to the question. So here it is.

I do not believe in some doctrine because my parents believed and told me to, or because that is what my youth minister told me.
I believe...

I believe in God. He is the creator and I am a part of his creation; I am his creation. He is perfection and me... well, I am far from perfection. It is because of this lack of perfection, I deserve death and nothing more. I do not deserve the glory that awaits beyond this life.

I believe in grace, in the form of Jesus Christ who is the son of God, God in the flesh. It is because God loved us so much he bestowed grace on us in the blood of Jesus. The embodiment of perfection as an atonement, a sacrifice, a ransom for my place, your place, our place. It is because of this grace I now can achieve my place in Glory.

I believe in love. For God so loved the world... How great the Father's love is that he would call us sons and daughters... Greater love has no man than this, that he lays down his life for his friends... Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: " 'Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. I believe just as Jesus said, these two commands are the greatest commandments and it is only by his Spirit (The Holy Spirit) our guide, that we can ever hope to love others as we love ourselves.

I believe that "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13). No matter what life brings, I know I can get through it. Challenges, trials, circumstances... I can rise above it with the strength of my God.

I BELIEVE THIS BECAUSE CHRIST CALLS US "...to be more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39).

So the next question, which is just logical to follow up. Why? Why do I believe this?
The answer is simple. Faith. Faith in things unseen. We all need something to hope in right? The difference is, that my faith comes from love. I love Christ because he first loved me. I think Paul sums it up with this: " That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." (2 Timothy 1:12)

So if you read this, I hope you take time and reflect. What do you believe? Why do you believe it?