If I were king of the forrest....

"When we are born we're afraid of the darkness, and then we're afraid of the light" -Aerosmith-

How true is that statement? As a child, I remember going to Natural Bridge Caverns outside San Antonio. What I hated the most was the moment they would shut the lights off throughout the cavern. I knew it was coming every time, they even counted down and prepped you for it. However, as soon as those lights shut off, it was as if I was all alone, swallowed by darkness. So what did I do? I reached backward to ensure my mother was still standing there and didn't disappear. As a child, things lived in the dark. Monsters like the Cucui (boogeyman), ghosts, chucky, freddy (yes I watched horror movies as a child when I shouldn't have- I blame my sister ha ha). Now, as an adult, I know nothing will come out of the darkness and eat me. I still have trouble letting my feet dangle from the bed at night but you have to understand how scary the CuCui really is. Okay so humor aside, something transforms in us as we transition into adult hood. At some point, our innocence becomes lost. We look forward to being scared- hence the love of horror movies, and haunted houses. We look forward to misbehaving, and when our behavior is called to light, we scatter. Like roaches when the light turns on we run and hide, afraid someone might see who we really are and what we are really like.

Darkness as black as night will cover all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the LORD will shine over you. Isaiah 60:2

The prophet Isaiah spoke of a spiritual darkness, covering all the nations and people of the earth. It is here in this darkness that we fumble around, trying to make some sense of our existence, deciding what is good is bad, and what is bad is good. However, we have hope. The savior God promised, the "light of the world"

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

The truth is, darkness can not hide us from God. He knows us inside and out, he remembers us when we were still dust according to the Psalms.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:11 - 12

In my sin, I would love to run and hide, to keep this secret from my God. However, darkness is as light. The only thing that hides my shame and sin from the eyes of the Father is the blood of the Son. Christ is the reason I stand before my God with confidence, even when I know I should cower and run. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. Hebrews 4:6.
Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come fearlessly into God's presence, assured of his glad welcome. Ephesians 3:12.

Once again I recommend this prayer as I too pray for myself and others.

How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalms 19:12-14

At First I was Afraid, I was Petrified...

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can cause 3 natural physiological mechanisms in response. 1. Fight 2. Flight 3. Freeze. For 100 bonus points, does anyone know why? Aside from that was the way we were created, our brains have naturally adapted over the past few millennia. Back when the world was mostly teeth and flesh, when faced with a threatening animal or situation, humans had to decide 1. Can I fight this to survive? 2. Should I run from this to survive? 3. Humans learned that some animals do not eat dead things so they learned, if I freeze, it will leave me alone. Fear plays a key role in our ability to survive. So at what point does fear become a key role in our sin? For me, fear keeps me from trusting in God- IMMANUEL. This week has been good in a sense that I a daily trying to remember that He is IMMANUEL- God with us. I immediately try to control the situation and when I can't, in sets the panic. It is crazy how I do this over and over again. So as I continue to bring my mind that God is with me, I feel a calm come over me. Tonight's study continues to be a combination of Step 3 of the 12 steps (We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God) and the name Immanuel. Tonight, I am reminded of some important promises.

But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And God said, "I will be with you." Exodus 3:11 - 12

"I will never leave you nor forsake you. . . . Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:5, 9

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Isaiah 43:2 - 3

Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20


Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can human beings do to me?"
Hebrews 13:5 - 6

The word of God is full of promises that God will be with us, that he will not abandon us. I know I don't deserve it, but I am learning to daily accept the grace that was given to me and trust in the fact that He is IMMANUEL!